And Then I Quit

DAY 1

Boss: Do you smoke THE MARIJUANNAAAAAAAAAAAA?!

Is this a trick question?

Me: Occasionally, I guess.

My boss approaches me and shoves a huge bowl of green spices underneath my nose. I cringe, and he cackles wildly, returning to the stove where he resumes his favorite song of which the unique lyrics are " LA LA LA LA LA."

After having finished washing the dishes.

Me: What do I do now?

Boss: Dance!

Me: I can't dance.

Boss: Then sing!

Me: I can't sing!

Boss: Then what can you do?


After spilling water on the floor.

Boss: DON'T WORRY. BE HAPPY.

DAY 2

Boss: How many boyfriends you have?

Me: You mean right now? One. How many wives do you have--

Boss: NO NO. Not right now, in your life!

Boss: You know which ones are the samosas?

Me: Yes. ( points to samosa case)

Boss: Good girl!

Slaps my ass.

DAY 3 ( non-working day)

I open my cellphone and I have two new voicemails. Both are from work. My boss wants me to work tonight, as I already told him yesterday I can't work tonight.

I call back.

Me: Hi, it's Venetia.

Boss: Hi Netia. Why you don't pick up your phone?!

Me: I was at a play, I had to turn off my phone.

Boss: Why!? You working tonight at 6:30!?

Me: No, I told you I can't, I have a huge exam tomorrow.

Boss: OK OK. BYE.